It’s been a long time since I sat down to write and I’ve been trying to figure out my reluctance to do so. I think in large part it’s because I don’t have anything insightful to say and also because I’ve been dealing with an injury or injuries over the last two months and I am extremely frustrated and sad about not being able to exercise and fear that I will lose all the hard won fitness that I have gained.
It turns out that I probably did some damage to my body by continuing to walk in the Las Vegas Marathon in November. I just assumed I was being a wimp, and not in good enough shape to push myself harder. Or didn’t have the mental strength to continue to run/walk. While I was grinning and bearing it, my body was trying to tell me something with all that pain. Something like, “Stop you idiot this really HURTS.”
After I returned home from Vegas only my foot hurt. My doctor urged me to see a physio for it because we both didn’t want it to prevent me from running. After one session with the physio I asked if it was ok for me to try and run on it and she reluctantly agreed. By this time I hadn’t run for three weeks and I was anxious to get back to it. I ran on a treadmill and was feeling really good after two km. Then on the third km my leg felt like it gave way except it didn’t really. It’s a hard feeling to describe but I have since read that I am not alone in talking about it that way. I couldn’t bear any weight on my leg and had to limp home. It progressively got worse until I had to use crutches for a day or two to get around. So now I had a bum knee AND foot, both on the right side. I went back to physio and she was able to get my leg to the point where I could walk on it again albeit with aches and pains. I can still feel the weakness in it and know that if I try and run I will probably be back on those crutches. And then my back which often aches started to really hurt which made even turning over in bed at night painful.
Since then I have made many visits to my massage therapist, my doctor, and my physio. No one seems to know what is causing the pain although they all have their own theories: IT band syndrome; tight hip flexors; shin splints; tendinitis; piriformis; psoas muscle; rib misalignment; pronation of my foot; fascia problems; baker’s cyst; meniscus tear; or something I did wrong when I was 12 and now am karmically paying for. They don’t even know if it’s one big problem or three separate problems or some combination. I have tried all types of massage including fascia massage, massage through my stomach to get at my hip flexors (not fun), and massage of my IT band that was so excruciating it led to me shooting sideways across the massage table while swearing at the therapist to f&(%ing stop. I have tried icing, complete rest, active rest, stretching, visceral manipulation, manual adjustments, realignment techniques, and acupuncture. And while some worked in a minor way none of the benefits have stuck around for more than a day or so.
On one hand I have a bizarre pride that I must really be a runner since I have a runner’s injury. On the other hand I have such a bizarre combo of injuries that no one can figure it out and I’m fed up with being in pain and sitting on the sidelines. I had many plans this year to do another ½ marathon to redeem myself for my lackluster performance in Las Vegas, maybe try a triathlon, and maybe just maybe start down the path of no return to a marathon. I had started looking at which races I wanted to run and started to evaluate whether I wanted to continue with distance running or improve my speed so I could run a more respectable time for the 5 and 10k.
But for now I just sit and wait. Wait for my upcoming ultrasound. Try to decide if I should visit the chiropractor, get a new physio, see a witch doctor, get my aura cleansed, or just go back to running and pain be dammed (I know that’s a stupid option but really attractive some days).
For now my options are limited. For now I keep going, fortsatta.